introduction

So, I'm terrible at blogging, and I know this, and you will quickly discover this to be a fact as well, if you didn't know already. But I want to have an outlet to keep people updated about my internship with RUF. I've been inspired by the myriads of bloggers out there, whose blogs I love to read, because I find them insightful, or encouraging, or inspiring. This will probably be none of those. They also tend to be written by people who are good and creative writers. I am not. Consider yourself warned.

Panera Bread on highway 31 in Birmingham, AL: It is a quiet Sunday afternoon: melancholy, but peaceful. This summer has been different, and will only get harder before it gets easier. I am a nomad for two and a half months, living out of the trunk of my taurus. Why? you might ask. Come early August, I hope to move to Davidson College, but currently I am fundraising. This scares me to death. Think about it...$31,804 to raise in order to pursue the first year of a job I feel like God is calling me to do. But we live in a society where it is not kosher to talk about money, and certainly not okay to ask people for money. And on top of that, the fact that I don't particularly like to recieve any gifts. It makes me feel uncomfortable. At RUF Orientation, John Stone explained something: half the reason that we're raising money for this internship, is so that we can understand what it is like to recieve grace. If I cannot accept the unmerrited generosity of others wanting to be a part of this ministry, how can I expect to accept the unmerrited grace of Jesus Christ that I am supposed to be ministring out of? This has provided me with a lot of food for thought, and caused me to examine myself some. Support raising is a humbling process, and I need that.

Tonight I'm going to talk with a small group about my ministry at RUF-Davidson, and ask them to support me. I'm nervous. Will this actually help? Will they be persuaded that my ministry is good enough that they want to be a part of it? Will I present myself eloquently, and make easy conversation with these people as we fellowship? These are the thoughts racing through my mind. And yet, deep down, I know that God is in control, and I long to trust that I am entirely unimportant, merely a bruised reed that God has chosen out of his great mercy to use for his purposes. Without this truth, tonight, and my two years at Davidson are doomed to failure. Oh that I would learn to trust!