I'm a very fearful person. I always have been, only now my fears have moved from being the tangible fears of children, to being more abstract. Not to say I don't fear a roach in my apartment anymore...but all joking aside, I've been seeing more and more recently, how much fear rules my life. Fear of the future. Fear of failure. Fear of God not coming through for me. And oh-so-much-more. And what's my reaction to all that? I'm scared to death.
The Bible certainly addresses fear - all over the place:
Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed..."
Isaiah 43:1, "But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not...'"
Philippians 4:6, "do not be anxious about anything.."
These are a few examples that jump to mind, but by no means an exclusive list :-)
So, for most of my life, I've seen fear as evil - something to be repented of, to try and get away from. I've committed myself to memorizing verses such as the two above, and, in times of fear, repeating them over and over, hoping the fear will go away. And when it doesn't? Guess what? I'm more fearful.
Certainly, fear is a result of the Fall, but maybe it makes sense that we're afraid - living with all the sin around us!
What if God is not sternly shaking a fist at us, telling us, "do not be afraid!!"? What if he knows our fear, and therefore looks to be with us in that fear? Somehow, I've neglected to see the importance of what follows each of these admonitions not to fear..."For I will be with you." Or as we were talking about in my girls' Psalms study a few weeks ago,
"Even though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me"
(Psalm 23:4)
Talking through fear with some people recently, I've begun to see this picture of a gentle shepherd quietly telling us not to be afraid, because he's right there with us, holding us, rather as a mother comforts her child during a storm. It's not a harsh rebuke to not fear, but a gentle and comforting reminder that we are not alone, that the fear is natural, yet God is there. Maybe the distinction I'm making seems small, but the difference is huge and life-changing.
Surely Isaiah 42:3 is correct when it says, "a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench." Our God is not a harsh taskmaster, demanding stoic bravery, but he gently cares for us sinners, who are "bruised and broken by the fall", -and that includes fearfulness!
I pray that even as God reveals more of his grace to me in this lesson, He will enable me to show more of His grace towards the students in my life, and others around me.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
"Great is thy faithfulness"
The name of this post is probably more fitting for the internship as a whole, really, not just this post. Or maybe more fitting for life :-)
So, as I wait on a student to show up to a lunch date, I wanted to share with you about a girl I had coffee with yesterday morning.
We'll call her Claire.
I got to know Claire last year at a Christmas parade in Davidson, when she came with a couple of the girls I knew particularly well. We got to talk here and there as I saw her around campus, and some of our interactions were more lengthy than others. Eventually, we had the opportunity to sit down and have lunch together. Claire grew up in a nominally Christian home, but I don't think Christianity meant a whole lot to her. We continued to meet, and sometimes Claire came to RUF Large Group.
Late in April, Claire's friend and classmate whom I meet with often, texted me an excited text to let me know Claire had accepted Christ that evening! I confess I'd prayed for her, but I didn't see this coming, and honestly, it had nothing to do with me, just a lot of little events that God had used in her life to show her who He is.
Though the semester was about over, I was able to give Claire a Jesus Storybook Bible, and she was so excited to get it!
This year, Claire has been coming to our girls' Psalms study, and she faithfully attends RUF Large Group. In talking with her, I've seen a change in the way she relates with people, and the way she thinks about life, even! She's excited to see the things she's learning about as helping her bring restoration to God's Kingdom on earth!
Yesterday morning at coffee, (as we bonded over our love of fall and Pumpkin Spice Lattes), Claire was full of questions: she's longing to study the Bible, and doesn't know where to begin. I was feeling particulary out of it walking to coffee, and I didn't know what we were going to talk about, or how to love her best, or how God was going to be at work. But I prayed that God would fill our conversation with Himself, and that he would be at work even as I was feeling weak. And even as God has been at work in Claire's life for 19 years, and my own life for 23 years, he was faithful in that conversation. It was so encouraging and contagious to see Claire's excitement for learning about her Savior, and so neat to be able to talk through reading the Bible.
Really, I love seeing God's faithfulness. It's so true that "his mercies are new every morning"!
So, as I wait on a student to show up to a lunch date, I wanted to share with you about a girl I had coffee with yesterday morning.
We'll call her Claire.
I got to know Claire last year at a Christmas parade in Davidson, when she came with a couple of the girls I knew particularly well. We got to talk here and there as I saw her around campus, and some of our interactions were more lengthy than others. Eventually, we had the opportunity to sit down and have lunch together. Claire grew up in a nominally Christian home, but I don't think Christianity meant a whole lot to her. We continued to meet, and sometimes Claire came to RUF Large Group.
Late in April, Claire's friend and classmate whom I meet with often, texted me an excited text to let me know Claire had accepted Christ that evening! I confess I'd prayed for her, but I didn't see this coming, and honestly, it had nothing to do with me, just a lot of little events that God had used in her life to show her who He is.
Though the semester was about over, I was able to give Claire a Jesus Storybook Bible, and she was so excited to get it!
This year, Claire has been coming to our girls' Psalms study, and she faithfully attends RUF Large Group. In talking with her, I've seen a change in the way she relates with people, and the way she thinks about life, even! She's excited to see the things she's learning about as helping her bring restoration to God's Kingdom on earth!
Yesterday morning at coffee, (as we bonded over our love of fall and Pumpkin Spice Lattes), Claire was full of questions: she's longing to study the Bible, and doesn't know where to begin. I was feeling particulary out of it walking to coffee, and I didn't know what we were going to talk about, or how to love her best, or how God was going to be at work. But I prayed that God would fill our conversation with Himself, and that he would be at work even as I was feeling weak. And even as God has been at work in Claire's life for 19 years, and my own life for 23 years, he was faithful in that conversation. It was so encouraging and contagious to see Claire's excitement for learning about her Savior, and so neat to be able to talk through reading the Bible.
Really, I love seeing God's faithfulness. It's so true that "his mercies are new every morning"!
Monday, October 3, 2011
September happenings
Let me start out by confessing to you that I'm not in an inspired-writing mood today, so I'm not really a writer anyways, but today is really more information-giving than interesting to read :-)But I did want to update you! Read at your own risk!
A couple things that have happened since the last post:
I flew to Dallas for one of my best friend's wedding! Since we were only a few weeks into the semester, it seemed like a hard time to take off for a few days. But also, the beginning of the semester can be difficult, and so it was a blessing to have time off to celebrate with friends and spend time together for such a wonderful occasion!
The next weekend was RUF's Fall Conference, which took place at beautiful Camp Greystone, just south of Ashville, in North Carolina. We had about 20 students from Davidson there. Conference came at the end of a couple of very fully and stressfull weeks for many students, and so the opportunity to be away from campus and spend time getting to know other students in a beautiful environment was excellent.
Our speaker, Tom Cannon (pastor of Red Mountain Church in Birmingham, AL) talked about the sufficiency of Scripture. After our Large Group sessions, we broke into small groups with our schools to talk about the sermons. I was so encouraged by the way the girls opened up with one another and were willing to talk about what challenged them, and to show where God is at work in their lives. I was also encouraged by the opportunity to get to know some of the freshmen girls better, and the chance to get to know some of the other girls in a different environment. I've discovered that car trips stimulate the best conversations, and I'm all for more in the future!
I've posted a lot more pictures from Fall Conference on the Davidson-RUF website, if you're interested in seeing them. I'd also direct you there if you're interested in checking out the website and reading more about RUF at Davidson in general!
As always, thank you for your prayers and support! Please continue to pray for the semester. I've been seeing God at work in some of these students in ways I never could have imagined!
Please keep praying for the work here! And please pray too for my financial situation. I am so incredibly grateful by God's provision for me here, and some of the timely gifts I've recieved recently. It's humbling, and I don't like asking, even though I know this is what I have been called to do right now. Please continue to be in prayer, since I'm still about $6000 behind for the year. Pray that God would make me bold in asking, and that I would be dilligent in taking the time that I need to work on support raising.
Until next time,
Anna
A couple things that have happened since the last post:
I flew to Dallas for one of my best friend's wedding! Since we were only a few weeks into the semester, it seemed like a hard time to take off for a few days. But also, the beginning of the semester can be difficult, and so it was a blessing to have time off to celebrate with friends and spend time together for such a wonderful occasion!
The next weekend was RUF's Fall Conference, which took place at beautiful Camp Greystone, just south of Ashville, in North Carolina. We had about 20 students from Davidson there. Conference came at the end of a couple of very fully and stressfull weeks for many students, and so the opportunity to be away from campus and spend time getting to know other students in a beautiful environment was excellent.
Our speaker, Tom Cannon (pastor of Red Mountain Church in Birmingham, AL) talked about the sufficiency of Scripture. After our Large Group sessions, we broke into small groups with our schools to talk about the sermons. I was so encouraged by the way the girls opened up with one another and were willing to talk about what challenged them, and to show where God is at work in their lives. I was also encouraged by the opportunity to get to know some of the freshmen girls better, and the chance to get to know some of the other girls in a different environment. I've discovered that car trips stimulate the best conversations, and I'm all for more in the future!
I've posted a lot more pictures from Fall Conference on the Davidson-RUF website, if you're interested in seeing them. I'd also direct you there if you're interested in checking out the website and reading more about RUF at Davidson in general!
As always, thank you for your prayers and support! Please continue to pray for the semester. I've been seeing God at work in some of these students in ways I never could have imagined!
Please keep praying for the work here! And please pray too for my financial situation. I am so incredibly grateful by God's provision for me here, and some of the timely gifts I've recieved recently. It's humbling, and I don't like asking, even though I know this is what I have been called to do right now. Please continue to be in prayer, since I'm still about $6000 behind for the year. Pray that God would make me bold in asking, and that I would be dilligent in taking the time that I need to work on support raising.
Until next time,
Anna
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